Stacey Kane Photography bio picture
  •'d rather be on the beach than in a ballroom... the bows on the shoes don't have to match the bows on the dress... every family needs a superhero... kids shouldn't have to sit still... time really does fly.

    Because you live life and enjoy every minute of it.

    Because you truly 'go with the flow' and embrace the things that really matter.

    Because you don't want the moments in your life to become a fading memory.

The #1 reason an ‘Unplugged’ Wedding is SO important

This is a heartfelt, on my knees plea to all wedding couples and guests….



By now most of you that are planning a wedding, or even going to one, have probably heard the term “unplugged wedding’.  For those that haven’t, the term simply refers to a wedding where the bride and groom have requested that the guests don’t bring/turn off/or even turn in their cell phones, ipads, electronic devices, etc…when they arrive.

Most people assume that the request is coming from the professional photographer in order to prevent guests getting in the way of their shots. And, while this could be the case and definitely IS an issue, in my opinion, it is not the biggest one.

The #1 reason why I believe that everyone should plan an Unplugged Wedding is this:

It preserves everything that makes a wedding special…the emotions, relationships, moments, etc….  When cellphones, ipads, etc…are present, the very dynamics of a wedding are negatively affected.

Some of my very favorite moments at a wedding are 1) the walk down the aisle, 2) the cocktail hour and 3) the first dance/parent dances.  They are always full of emotion and special relationships, and personalities shine through during these moments.

Unfortunately, our very ‘plugged in’ society has affected these times in a not-so-good way.

Here are a few example scenarios of ‘THEN’ vs. ‘NOW’…

1)  Walk Down the Aisle/Start of Ceremony

THEN:   The music changes, everyone stands and there is a collective gasp as the bride makes her appearance and begins her walk down the aisle.  Everyone is smiling, there may be a few tears of happiness and the couple’s eyes are locked onto each other.

NOW:   The processional begins and everyone positions themselves as best as they can to take photos.  If lucky, the images show the aisle flanked by a rows and rows of cellphones up and ready, in front of all the guests faces.  Unfortunately, many times the images also show a phone or two hanging out into the aisle.  Even worse….there are times when guests actually step out INTO the aisle.

The couple is up front now, ready to exchange vows.

THEN:  A crowd of beaming faces behind the couple.

NOW:  The tops of heads as everyone tries to be the first to post their cellphone pic to Instagram.  Hardly anyone is even paying attention.

2)  The Cocktail Hour

I love this time of the day.  It’s always FULL of emotion and I get a first hand glimpse into the special relationships that exist, the excitement of people seeing each other for the first time in years, etc…    I feel that this is such an important part of the day that I work very hard to make sure that all group/formal photos are done fast and efficiently so everyone can be present and enjoy it.

THEN:  Everyone hugging, laughing, toasting, talking….. Great and genuine expressions and interactions.   Each image could tell a story on it’s own.

NOW:   Little subgroups of people off to the sides, lining up while someone takes a photo of them with their cellphone.  Selfies galore.  More posing than interacting.

3)  First Dance/Parent Dances

This may actually be the part that makes me the most sad to witness.   What used to be such an emotionally charged moment has drastically been altered.

THEN:  SO MUCH EMOTION!  Friends and family…the people that mean the most in the world to the couple…..surround them on the dance floor.   There are smiles, laughter, tears, arms around each other, people holding hands.  There is warmth, love, affection.

NOW:   It’s a sea of cellphones.  The group still surrounds the dance floor but now, instead of seeing everyone’s expressions, all I see is bodies with iPhones in front of their faces.

I can’t begin to tell you just how depressing it is.   The toasts and cake cutting are the same way.

I do believe that no one actually means for any of this to happen.  Everyone is excited and they all want to preserve it with their iPhones.  It’s the way things are now. People attend concerts and view it all on the screens of their phones while they videotape it….instead of experiencing it in the present.  Parents attend their child’s soccer game and do the same.  Their eyes aren’t on the child…..they are focused on their phone screens.

I’m sure a few will read this and simply shrug.  iPhones have a frightening control over many.  It’s like they can’t experience something that’s happening live right in front of them.  They need that barrier for some reason.

But, in my opinion, the end result of this at a wedding is heartbreaking.  It robs a couple of being able to go back and FEEL the emotions and moments of their day through photos.  A wedding invitation requests “the honour of your PRESENCE”……not merely the “honour of your ATTENDANCE”.

PLEASE….Put down your phones, cameras, iPads….DISTRACTIONS in general…..and be PRESENT at the next wedding you are invited to.

Believe me, the couple invited you because you are important to them…not because they wanted to just fill a seat.


I feel strongly enough about this that I have significant incentives in place for all couples that commit to planning an “Unplugged Wedding”.   Be sure to inquire if the above rings true to you and you want your own wedding to be unplugged.


Bravo!! This is such a great post, written from the heart!

I love this idea! I’m going to start having unplugged dinners with my friends too! I went to have a cocktail with some friends once and we all put our phones in the middle of the table, the first one to check their phone had to pay our bill!

[…] Original Post – Stacey Kane | Photographer […]

What a great post Stacy!! I agree 100%. The days of cell phones and I-Pads have taken so much emotion, fun and interact away from such a special day!
Everyone these days needs to be the first one to post a pic of the bride or how dressed up they are seeking likes and comments.It’s not even about their friends/families wedding.

And then it’s always fun for us with people in our ways and people that have no idea how to use their phones trying to get group shots as we are taking them. Such a distraction and ruins the flow of the day.

I hope you dont mind me sharing this. I think you wrote it a lot better than I could. lol

I hope all is well. You do such a great job!!

Take care and cheers to a prosperous 2017!!

Reagrds, Stewart Smith Photography

Could YOUR family have it’s own sitcom?

(This is one of my favorite photos from this family’s session. Why?  It’s real.)


Mine sure could.

In fact, I’m not sure a week goes by that I don’t utter the words “my life is a sitcom” or something very similar. We are Modern Family, The Middle and Surviving Jack all rolled into one family!

Just the other day we had yet another family ‘episode’ that I’m pretty sure would sent comedy writers scrambling to script. And it got me thinking…’s the imperfections of kids, parents, families….life in general….that makes it all real. Real, and worthwhile. And definitely a whole lot more fun!

It’s THOSE moments and THOSE relationships that made me choose to be a photographer. I am more interested in capturing parents tossing kids into the air, tickling matches, scraped knees, muddy dresses, faces covered with marshmallow fluff….and toddlers squirming on grandparents’ laps (you get the idea!) …. than I am lining you up in awkward poses and matching clothes.

So, as Mother’s and Father’s Day, graduation day, etc…approach (and in celebration of them!) I thought it would be fun to have a little contest.


Here’s what you need to do to enter:

1) Send an email to me at with a sitcom-worthy moment from your life. Something that made you laugh so hard you cried. A story that you tell over and over again and laugh just as much as the first time it happened….maybe even more! Have a title for your sitcom/family? Bonus points!!:)

2) Include your name and your family member(s) names and the ages of any child(ren), your email address and your phone number.

3) DEADLINE IS 12:00 NOON on Sunday, May 11th (Mother’s Day)

THREE winners will be selected and notified on or before Friday, May 16th.

Sooooo….what’s the prize?

Winners will receive a family (or child) portrait session with Stacey an online gallery to share and order from, and a $200 print/product credit! If I get enough ‘sitcom stories’ I may even throw in a few Runner Up prizes!

Good luck! Can’t wait to read your ‘episode’!!!:)

Lots of New for this New Year

Let me be honest here. I am not one that typically makes a big deal out of the New Year.  It’s another day on the calendar…who cares if the year is a different one?  I don’t make new year’s resolutions that I imagine I’ll beat myself up over sooner rather than later.  Nope.

From Day 1, however, Twenty Fourteen, is setting itself up to be a big one for me.  Professionally and personally.

Yesterday was the start of brand new chapter for my business.  After being in the same studio space for 10 years (to the day!), I am moving to a great new location and I couldn’t possibly be more excited!  It’s a perfect fit for me and I’m looking forward to sending out an official announcement and invitation for all to stop by to visit very soon!

That’s just Change #1 for Stacey Kane Photography.  There’s more to come ….  😉

Personally, I just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary, my husband’s 50th birthday (all in the same week!) and this June, will watch my oldest child, Devan, graduate from High School.  The good news is that she is realizing her dream of playing D1 Hockey and has already committed to play for her first choice – Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, CT.  The bad news is that I’m pretty sure I’ll be an emotional wreck when I pack her up and drive her down in the Fall.  Scratch that.  Not ‘pretty sure’.  It’s a definite.

Yes.  2014 is going to be a big one.  And I can’t wait!


Jo Shelton -

Woohoo Stacey! Congrats to you and yours on all these exciting changes! We can not wait to see the new space:)

Yeah baby, that is FANTASTIC news!!! Congratulations!!!

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